Success coach, James Arthur Ray came to public awareness with The Secret movie. He is known for his human touch, his humour and for his ability to take us within ourselves raising the level of success mentoring beyond the ‘hoopla’ of positive thinking.
James Ray can speak from his own experience to demonstrate that we all have an inherent ability to manifest our desires. He fervently believes in the connection between our thoughts and the quantum field of possibilities. However, like John DeMartini, he emphasizes that successful manifesting requires that our values and our desires must be in alignment.
As Carl Jung stated:
In other words, whatever thoughts, frustrations, dreams or resistances dominate our thoughts will be our experience. It is up to us to take charge of our thoughts, and to fill our minds with empowering ideologies. If our values and our desires are in conflict we are shooting ourselves in the foot.
According to James Ray, there are 5 absolute essentials for success:
1. Intention That is a strong personal will to achieve our desires
2. Attention A single minded, unbending focus on our desires
3. Energy A fiery passion for our desires
4. Belief “Belief in our self, belief in our products, belief industry”
5. Growth We must be always looking for more. “We are either growing or dying”
James Ray quotes Ram Das “If you think you’re enlightened, spend a weekend with your parents.” Pointing out how his mother reminded him how much he was like his father, which at first he like all of us fervently denied, he states: “The more you say that’s not me – the more I guarantee it is.”
So, how can I heal my emotional hang ups?
James Ray is trained in a large body of therapies, such as NLP, and is initiated in a number of spiritual traditions. He believes all systems of contemplation work in bringing to light the dark recesses of our unconscious programming, while suggesting some are quicker and more efficient than others.
The universe reflects back to us our results. What do life’s results reveal of who I am? What do I have to become if I want to attract business, family, physical, emotional or spiritual success? Who do I have to be to attract Miss Right?
The problem is that we engage conscious thought only a fraction, (Dr Bruce Lipton suggests 2- 5%), of the time, whereas our environment is active 24/7.
This does not mean we should sit back and visualize all day in a meditative state and expect the universe to attract our desires.
Ray uses meditation daily so as to regain focus, ‘to take me from what I do to what I am in life’ in all areas of life. Attaining equilibrium even in times of economic collapse allows a person to calmly set a direction in life and know that ‘something bigger is working through me.’ The experience of enlightenment is for James Ray the mindful experience of all realty, the embracing of all of life, the good, the bad, the devil and the angel within.
These moments of realization allow you to harmoniously and positively contribute to the world. It is not about sitting isolated in ascetic monasticism but a re-gathering of clarity that allows us to again move forward in perfect focus.
When I can fully accept the flow of life then everything every day will work out for my good. As John Demartini observed, for every disaster there is a benefit of equal or greater value if we seek it. This follows from the Law of Polarity, one of the Seven universal Laws. Most of us can look back at a collapsed business or failed marriage and see that from that disaster there has been some good in line with our value system. Masters learn to ask questions of every event so as to seek the full spectrum of positive and negative in the moment.
James Arthur Ray proposes 3 questions of Mastery:
1. How does this serve me? Or If I wanted this event to serve me, how would it?
2. What can I learn from this? That is learn now, not just in retrospect.
3. How can I use that learning?
Like John Demartini, James Ray believes there is always wealth for those who want to serve. To be wealthy, James Ray advises ‘consistently focus on providing more value and service to the world’. Life changes when our focus moves to providing value rather than on making money. This is counter intuitive to many in the often undervalued education industry. However, James Ray points out that in times of crisis people value escapism and entertainment, hence he encourages education services to become entertaining and increase their perceived value in the students mind.
James Arthur Ray states that the Law of Attraction always works. If it is not working for you, it is because you are not applying all of the Seven Universal Laws, of which the Law of Attraction is only one:
1. The Law of Perpetual Transmutation. Energy moves into physical form. Change is all there is. You can direct this change with your thoughts. However, much of our thinking is unconscious programming which is why we must begin mastery deep within ourselves.
2. The Law of Relativity: In the study of this law, we find that all things are relative. All laws are related to each other and correspond with each other. All things must be in harmony, agreement and correspond with each other. We need to find that harmony.
3. Law of vibration (also known as the Law of Attraction). Like attracts like. Just as a tuning fork begins to tone a sound of another tuning fork beside it, we can intuitive sense the vibrations of others. James Ray states: “If you're constantly thinking, feeling and acting (what I call going "3 for 3") as if you "need more, need more," what's the real message you're sending out energetically? You guessed correctly if you said the message is, ‘You don't have it.’” This is why gratitude is such a corner stone of Law of Attraction thinking. “If all things are an energetic vibration (which they are) and energy flows where attention goes (which it does), then to place your consistent attention upon the things for which you're grateful is one of the most powerful things you can do “ says James Ray.
4. The Law of Polarity: Everything in the universe has its opposite. The law of polarity not only states that everything has an opposite…it is equal and opposite.
5. The Law of Rhythm: Everything is moving in cycles, the ebb and flood of the tide, the flow of the seasons.
6. The Law of Cause and Effect: Every cause has its effect; every effect, its cause, according to law. It is impossible for the human mind to conceive of starting a new chain of causation, as our new conceptions are in themselves an effect of a preceding cause that can be traced back perpetually.
7. The Law of Gender: The law of gender manifests in all things as masculine and feminine. It is this law that governs what we know as creation. The law of gender manifests in the animal kingdom as sex. In the mineral and vegetable kingdoms, the dual principle of male and female manifests as a difference of electrical or energy potential or a perpetuation of motion. The Law of Gender unifies the seven universal laws as one. From this law we also derive that all seeds (such as ideas) have a gestation period before results manifest.
1. The power of understanding
2. The power of mind sets
3. The power of vision
4. The power of partnerships
5. The power of giving
6. The power of accountability
7. The power of gratitude
1. What is the single most powerful belief that keeps me from my intentions?
2. What must I believe about myself, product, my industry and the world in order to achieve my intention effortlessly?
For most of us, overhauling the thousands of disempowering unconscious beliefs we have accumulated seems overwhelming.
However, James Ray believes that we are not given desires that we are not capable of achieving and offers up a process to achieve our dreams.
1. Create a ‘spiritual prototype’ of our dreams. Describe it in intimate, intricate detail and the desire will exist in the spiritual plane.
2. Write down our desire and verbalize it. Create our desire on the mental plane.
3. Physically we must align our whole physiology with the excitement of our desire already being manifested. “You have to think, feel and act in accordance with that physical prototype – no matter what!”
Borrowing from Mike Dooley, we must keep pitching balls to the Universe so that it can hit a home run in our behalf.
Keeping this all consuming passionate belief we must balance our intention and attention. We must ‘radically find references that support us” and avoid negative influences. He recommends speaking of your desires only with those who you know support you. Sadly, our pursuit of greatness will represent the courage, strength and passion that many of our associates lack and they may try to relive their insecurity by trying to keep you at their level.
We must fight on with passion, avoiding the inclination to settle and ‘be balanced’. ‘Balance is bogus’ says James Ray, ‘and you don’t want it’, (quoting from one Ray’s famous 12 Counter Intuitive Statements) however harmony is empowering. The differences in an orchestra are what create a tapestry of symphonic beauty. An old balance scale that is in perfect balance is doing nothing. It is not moving. In contrast, a symphony harmonizes the ebb and flow of changing walls of sound. As in an orchestra, where each musician has single mindedly pursued excellence, often to inordinate ‘unbalanced’ levels of practice, our developing and cross training every aspect of our lives allows us to harmonize our growing talents into majestic strains of inspiration.
Whilst 99% of people associate wealth with money, James Ray points out that wealth is derived from the word for ‘well being’. Foe a person to be truly wealthy they must focus on all of the five pillars of wealth:
• Financial
• Relational
• Mental
• Emotional
• Physical
‘Money is not the answer’ says James Ray, pointing to many financial successes whose lives are in ruins, ‘but it is part of the answer’.
‘If you want to love God then love his creation’ states the Sufi tradition so Ray argues that rejoicing in material things is fine, as long as one harmonizes all five areas of life.
However, for many, the pursuit of balance often results in lack of fulfillment since the expectation of balance suggests to many that the experience of life always be a perfect ten, resulting in all or nothing thinking. James Ray teaches we need to enjoy the ride of life’s ebbs and flows. No relationship or business runs perfectly all the time. The Law of Rhythm reminds us that at times we may have to place more emphasis on work, to the exclusion of family, as long as it is done in consultation, so that the family is part of the collective effort. Sometimes we will have to put in twelve hour days.
Here James Ray cautions harmony. We must put some energy on all of the five pillars of success all of the time, but not equally, some will require more effort at one time, and less in the future. If we put all our focus on some at the exclusion of others it is then that we will face the potential of collapse.
When I can fully accept the flow of life then everything every day will work out for my good. As John Demartini observed for every disaster there is a benefit of equal or greater value if we seek it. This is the Law of Polarity. Most of us can look back at a collapsed business or failed marriage and see that from that disaster there has been some good in line with our value system. Masters learn to ask questions of every event so as to seek the full spectrum of positive and negative in the moment.
James Arthur Ray proposes 3 questions of Mastery:
1. How does this serve me? Or If I wanted this event to serve me, how would it?
2. What can I learn from this? That is learn now, not just in retrospect.
3. How can I use that learning?
James Ray can speak from his own experience to demonstrate that we all have an inherent ability to manifest our desires. He fervently believes in the connection between our thoughts and the quantum field of possibilities. However, like John DeMartini, he emphasizes that successful manifesting requires that our values and our desires must be in alignment.
“When an inner situation inside of us is not made conscious,
it is projected outside of us as fate”
According to James Ray, there are 5 absolute essentials for success:
1. Intention That is a strong personal will to achieve our desires
2. Attention A single minded, unbending focus on our desires
3. Energy A fiery passion for our desires
4. Belief “Belief in our self, belief in our products, belief industry”
5. Growth We must be always looking for more. “We are either growing or dying”
James Ray recommends applying the esoteric ‘Law of Reversal’:
“To to change misery, disease and failure into joy, health, success and prosperity, I must think, speak and act, in ways which are the exact reverse of how most people think, speak and act.”
This is a huge challenge that will run smack into the walls of our conditioned beliefs. James Ray illustrates the problem by contrasting two entertainers, Carly Simon and Bruce Springsteen.
Carly Simon is known for her brilliant albums and her challenges with performing live. Asked how she feels behind stage, she describes how her heart pounds, her palms get sweaty, a lump develops in her throat and she just knows she cannot go on stage.
Bruce Springsteen, also describes his heart pounding, his palms becoming sweaty, a lump developing in her throat at which point he ‘knows’ he is ‘ready to rock!”
One person’s fuel is another person’s fear.
“To to change misery, disease and failure into joy, health, success and prosperity, I must think, speak and act, in ways which are the exact reverse of how most people think, speak and act.”
This is a huge challenge that will run smack into the walls of our conditioned beliefs. James Ray illustrates the problem by contrasting two entertainers, Carly Simon and Bruce Springsteen.
Carly Simon is known for her brilliant albums and her challenges with performing live. Asked how she feels behind stage, she describes how her heart pounds, her palms get sweaty, a lump develops in her throat and she just knows she cannot go on stage.
Bruce Springsteen, also describes his heart pounding, his palms becoming sweaty, a lump developing in her throat at which point he ‘knows’ he is ‘ready to rock!”
One person’s fuel is another person’s fear.
These moments of emotional turbulence and chaos open to us the possibility of growth.
James Ray uses the work of Nobel Lauriat for Chemistry, Ilya Prigogine, to show that “we grow in direct proportion to the amount of chaos we can sustain and dissipate.” All systems go through different phases of life. Each time our system is overwhelmed by too much energy moving towards chaos, unable to dissipate the excess. Pushed to the brink, the system either breaks down or breaks through. If it breaks through it reorganizes at a higher level and the adjusting system grows dynamically. Because it is this stress we are pushed to reorganize at a higher level and increase our prowess to manifest our desires.
As we grow personally our power to transmit the energy of our intention increases. James Ray says it takes a bigger person to earn and handle $1,000,000 than it does to earn and handle $10,000. To become a bigger person we must face life’s challengers. In Eastern traditions enlightenment is depicted by the thousand petal lotus growing in the muck and mire.
James Ray believes the universe is benevolent and we need to thank the universe for the stresses we face. The universe reflects back what we need to learn.
“Hey you’re broke again. Hello!” It is our choice whether we calmly reflect on the biofeedback of life and adjust our course.
This is true with the Law of Attraction, which James Ray sees as operating on 4 planes:
1. The Physical Level: Opposites attract. Man attracts woman (and in same sex relationships one partner is often more masculine, the other more feminine).
2. Emotional Level: Similarities attract. However, what we attract is often on an unconscious level. That is I may attract people who have similar unconscious, sometimes disliked, programs to myself). This is why James Ray points out that to have a relationship with that perfect person, we must have a perfect relationship with our self, otherwise we will attract our incompleteness.
3. Mental Level: Opposites attract. Different viewpoints exist even in close relationships
4. Spiritual Level: Similarities Attract.
In relationships, James Arthur Ray argues, our spouse and particularly our children often reflect what we need to love and embrace in myself. When we come to terms with our unconscious programming the conflicts seems to dissolve or the person who triggers the problem seems to move from the circle of our life.
James Ray uses the work of Nobel Lauriat for Chemistry, Ilya Prigogine, to show that “we grow in direct proportion to the amount of chaos we can sustain and dissipate.” All systems go through different phases of life. Each time our system is overwhelmed by too much energy moving towards chaos, unable to dissipate the excess. Pushed to the brink, the system either breaks down or breaks through. If it breaks through it reorganizes at a higher level and the adjusting system grows dynamically. Because it is this stress we are pushed to reorganize at a higher level and increase our prowess to manifest our desires.
"You cannot solve a problem from the same level of thinking that created it."
--Albert Einstein
As we grow personally our power to transmit the energy of our intention increases. James Ray says it takes a bigger person to earn and handle $1,000,000 than it does to earn and handle $10,000. To become a bigger person we must face life’s challengers. In Eastern traditions enlightenment is depicted by the thousand petal lotus growing in the muck and mire.
James Ray believes the universe is benevolent and we need to thank the universe for the stresses we face. The universe reflects back what we need to learn.
“Hey you’re broke again. Hello!” It is our choice whether we calmly reflect on the biofeedback of life and adjust our course.
This is true with the Law of Attraction, which James Ray sees as operating on 4 planes:
1. The Physical Level: Opposites attract. Man attracts woman (and in same sex relationships one partner is often more masculine, the other more feminine).
2. Emotional Level: Similarities attract. However, what we attract is often on an unconscious level. That is I may attract people who have similar unconscious, sometimes disliked, programs to myself). This is why James Ray points out that to have a relationship with that perfect person, we must have a perfect relationship with our self, otherwise we will attract our incompleteness.
3. Mental Level: Opposites attract. Different viewpoints exist even in close relationships
4. Spiritual Level: Similarities Attract.
In relationships, James Arthur Ray argues, our spouse and particularly our children often reflect what we need to love and embrace in myself. When we come to terms with our unconscious programming the conflicts seems to dissolve or the person who triggers the problem seems to move from the circle of our life.
James Ray quotes Ram Das “If you think you’re enlightened, spend a weekend with your parents.” Pointing out how his mother reminded him how much he was like his father, which at first he like all of us fervently denied, he states: “The more you say that’s not me – the more I guarantee it is.”
So, how can I heal my emotional hang ups?
“Mastery starts at the centre and works outwards.”
The universe reflects back to us our results. What do life’s results reveal of who I am? What do I have to become if I want to attract business, family, physical, emotional or spiritual success? Who do I have to be to attract Miss Right?
The problem is that we engage conscious thought only a fraction, (Dr Bruce Lipton suggests 2- 5%), of the time, whereas our environment is active 24/7.
This does not mean we should sit back and visualize all day in a meditative state and expect the universe to attract our desires.
Ray uses meditation daily so as to regain focus, ‘to take me from what I do to what I am in life’ in all areas of life. Attaining equilibrium even in times of economic collapse allows a person to calmly set a direction in life and know that ‘something bigger is working through me.’ The experience of enlightenment is for James Ray the mindful experience of all realty, the embracing of all of life, the good, the bad, the devil and the angel within.
These moments of realization allow you to harmoniously and positively contribute to the world. It is not about sitting isolated in ascetic monasticism but a re-gathering of clarity that allows us to again move forward in perfect focus.
When I can fully accept the flow of life then everything every day will work out for my good. As John Demartini observed, for every disaster there is a benefit of equal or greater value if we seek it. This follows from the Law of Polarity, one of the Seven universal Laws. Most of us can look back at a collapsed business or failed marriage and see that from that disaster there has been some good in line with our value system. Masters learn to ask questions of every event so as to seek the full spectrum of positive and negative in the moment.
James Arthur Ray proposes 3 questions of Mastery:
1. How does this serve me? Or If I wanted this event to serve me, how would it?
2. What can I learn from this? That is learn now, not just in retrospect.
3. How can I use that learning?
“He who chooses to be a master never does ‘just enough’ to get by; nor does he cut corners or attempt to cheat the system. He who chooses mastery lives his life asking, 'How can I do more, give more, be more, and thereby accelerate the achievement of my ultimate destiny?'”
- James Arthur Ray
Like John Demartini, James Ray believes there is always wealth for those who want to serve. To be wealthy, James Ray advises ‘consistently focus on providing more value and service to the world’. Life changes when our focus moves to providing value rather than on making money. This is counter intuitive to many in the often undervalued education industry. However, James Ray points out that in times of crisis people value escapism and entertainment, hence he encourages education services to become entertaining and increase their perceived value in the students mind.
“The Law of Attraction always works”
- James Arthur Ray
1. The Law of Perpetual Transmutation. Energy moves into physical form. Change is all there is. You can direct this change with your thoughts. However, much of our thinking is unconscious programming which is why we must begin mastery deep within ourselves.
2. The Law of Relativity: In the study of this law, we find that all things are relative. All laws are related to each other and correspond with each other. All things must be in harmony, agreement and correspond with each other. We need to find that harmony.
3. Law of vibration (also known as the Law of Attraction). Like attracts like. Just as a tuning fork begins to tone a sound of another tuning fork beside it, we can intuitive sense the vibrations of others. James Ray states: “If you're constantly thinking, feeling and acting (what I call going "3 for 3") as if you "need more, need more," what's the real message you're sending out energetically? You guessed correctly if you said the message is, ‘You don't have it.’” This is why gratitude is such a corner stone of Law of Attraction thinking. “If all things are an energetic vibration (which they are) and energy flows where attention goes (which it does), then to place your consistent attention upon the things for which you're grateful is one of the most powerful things you can do “ says James Ray.
4. The Law of Polarity: Everything in the universe has its opposite. The law of polarity not only states that everything has an opposite…it is equal and opposite.
5. The Law of Rhythm: Everything is moving in cycles, the ebb and flood of the tide, the flow of the seasons.
6. The Law of Cause and Effect: Every cause has its effect; every effect, its cause, according to law. It is impossible for the human mind to conceive of starting a new chain of causation, as our new conceptions are in themselves an effect of a preceding cause that can be traced back perpetually.
7. The Law of Gender: The law of gender manifests in all things as masculine and feminine. It is this law that governs what we know as creation. The law of gender manifests in the animal kingdom as sex. In the mineral and vegetable kingdoms, the dual principle of male and female manifests as a difference of electrical or energy potential or a perpetuation of motion. The Law of Gender unifies the seven universal laws as one. From this law we also derive that all seeds (such as ideas) have a gestation period before results manifest.
We can activate these laws 7 ways:
1. The power of understanding
2. The power of mind sets
3. The power of vision
4. The power of partnerships
5. The power of giving
6. The power of accountability
7. The power of gratitude
Consider the present economic crisis. The word crisis is in fact a misnomer, because according to the Law of Rhythm, we should expect there be ebbs and flows. It is in this time of economic winter that we need to hibernate in a state of reflection over the last economic summer. It is time to learn from the successes and failures of the boom and to prepare oneself for the oncoming spring. Winter follows autumns divesting superfluous baggage and is a time of preparation. Big trees will fall and make possible the new growth of opportunity. In times of economic winter it is time to seek those associates who we can model and to divest those who tear us down. Hang around people who are what you want to be.
If my friends are overweight, then chances are I will be. If my friends make $50 thousand a year, chances are I do. So, if I want to be a millionaire whose friendships do I need cultivate? If I want marital success, then I must look beyond those who are having their 75th marriage.
Our courage and vision may represent what some of our friends do not have in themselves. In insecurity they may feel threatened. Or it could be that we ourselves feel jealous at the successes of others. Perhaps this economic winter is a time for us to assess our own values.
How do I feel when a friend succeeds? If I feel bitterness or jealousy what does that show of me? What does it show about my mindset?
If I find a negative attitude within me, it is time to calmly evaluate it, rather than angrily punish ourselves. Successful people compete with themselves, each day measuring their results
If my friends are overweight, then chances are I will be. If my friends make $50 thousand a year, chances are I do. So, if I want to be a millionaire whose friendships do I need cultivate? If I want marital success, then I must look beyond those who are having their 75th marriage.
Our courage and vision may represent what some of our friends do not have in themselves. In insecurity they may feel threatened. Or it could be that we ourselves feel jealous at the successes of others. Perhaps this economic winter is a time for us to assess our own values.
How do I feel when a friend succeeds? If I feel bitterness or jealousy what does that show of me? What does it show about my mindset?
If I find a negative attitude within me, it is time to calmly evaluate it, rather than angrily punish ourselves. Successful people compete with themselves, each day measuring their results
James Ray states that your intention is the all consuming idea of your life. So he asks us two questions:
1. What is the single most powerful belief that keeps me from my intentions?
2. What must I believe about myself, product, my industry and the world in order to achieve my intention effortlessly?
For most of us, overhauling the thousands of disempowering unconscious beliefs we have accumulated seems overwhelming.
However, James Ray believes that we are not given desires that we are not capable of achieving and offers up a process to achieve our dreams.
1. Create a ‘spiritual prototype’ of our dreams. Describe it in intimate, intricate detail and the desire will exist in the spiritual plane.
2. Write down our desire and verbalize it. Create our desire on the mental plane.
3. Physically we must align our whole physiology with the excitement of our desire already being manifested. “You have to think, feel and act in accordance with that physical prototype – no matter what!”
Borrowing from Mike Dooley, we must keep pitching balls to the Universe so that it can hit a home run in our behalf.
Keeping this all consuming passionate belief we must balance our intention and attention. We must ‘radically find references that support us” and avoid negative influences. He recommends speaking of your desires only with those who you know support you. Sadly, our pursuit of greatness will represent the courage, strength and passion that many of our associates lack and they may try to relive their insecurity by trying to keep you at their level.
We must fight on with passion, avoiding the inclination to settle and ‘be balanced’. ‘Balance is bogus’ says James Ray, ‘and you don’t want it’, (quoting from one Ray’s famous 12 Counter Intuitive Statements) however harmony is empowering. The differences in an orchestra are what create a tapestry of symphonic beauty. An old balance scale that is in perfect balance is doing nothing. It is not moving. In contrast, a symphony harmonizes the ebb and flow of changing walls of sound. As in an orchestra, where each musician has single mindedly pursued excellence, often to inordinate ‘unbalanced’ levels of practice, our developing and cross training every aspect of our lives allows us to harmonize our growing talents into majestic strains of inspiration.
Whilst 99% of people associate wealth with money, James Ray points out that wealth is derived from the word for ‘well being’. Foe a person to be truly wealthy they must focus on all of the five pillars of wealth:
• Financial
• Relational
• Mental
• Emotional
• Physical
‘Money is not the answer’ says James Ray, pointing to many financial successes whose lives are in ruins, ‘but it is part of the answer’.
‘If you want to love God then love his creation’ states the Sufi tradition so Ray argues that rejoicing in material things is fine, as long as one harmonizes all five areas of life.
However, for many, the pursuit of balance often results in lack of fulfillment since the expectation of balance suggests to many that the experience of life always be a perfect ten, resulting in all or nothing thinking. James Ray teaches we need to enjoy the ride of life’s ebbs and flows. No relationship or business runs perfectly all the time. The Law of Rhythm reminds us that at times we may have to place more emphasis on work, to the exclusion of family, as long as it is done in consultation, so that the family is part of the collective effort. Sometimes we will have to put in twelve hour days.
Here James Ray cautions harmony. We must put some energy on all of the five pillars of success all of the time, but not equally, some will require more effort at one time, and less in the future. If we put all our focus on some at the exclusion of others it is then that we will face the potential of collapse.
When I can fully accept the flow of life then everything every day will work out for my good. As John Demartini observed for every disaster there is a benefit of equal or greater value if we seek it. This is the Law of Polarity. Most of us can look back at a collapsed business or failed marriage and see that from that disaster there has been some good in line with our value system. Masters learn to ask questions of every event so as to seek the full spectrum of positive and negative in the moment.
James Arthur Ray proposes 3 questions of Mastery:
1. How does this serve me? Or If I wanted this event to serve me, how would it?
2. What can I learn from this? That is learn now, not just in retrospect.
3. How can I use that learning?
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